Trip of a Lifetime (Part One, Chapter Three)

III. Good and Bad

We wake up on Saturday morning to an absolutely glorious day. Sunny and warm, 70 degrees, absolutely no wind. This is Scotland? We are playing the Eden Course at St. Andrews this morning, followed by the Championship Course at Carnoustie in the afternoon. What a day! We drive over to the Eden Course and check in. We are in buoyant spirits. Unfortunately the gentleman checking us in at the Eden Course has other ideas. He actually asks for our PROOF of a tee time. Luckily, I actually HAVE the email printed out with our little confirmation number on it. Yeah, like what are the chances that I'm just going to walk up to him and out of the blue say "I believe you have a 7:12 tee time for Whayne, party of two." Do I LOOK like the criminal type? Do I LOOK shady? Would a 46-year old man REALLY make a living out of driving around Scotland, stealing other people's tee times? And would I REALLY try to do this at the EDEN COURSE, of all courses? I just don't think he liked Americans. Either that or he was mad that he was stuck working at the Eden Course instead of the Old or New Course. Other than the Old Course, this is the only time on the trip where we are REQUIRED to provide PRINTED documentation of an existing tee time. It kind of ticks me off and takes the wind out of my sails. Thanks for the buzzkill, guv'nah!

He hands over our scorecard and pencils to us, and still kind of put off by him, I jam my hand into my pocket and promptly IMPALE IT on the needle-sharp pencil he just gave me! I'm bleeding all over myself as I stagger off to the first tee!

I manage to scrape up a bogey on the first hole, and then promptly hit my tee shot on #2 out of bounds. It lands in the Elysian Fields of the 14th Hole of the Old Course. I jump over the short stone wall, play my ball back into the Eden Course, and it goes right into a gorse bush: lost ball. That's karma justice, I guess, for jumping the wall onto the Old Course.

On the 4th hole, a short par four, I DRIVE the green, only to three-putt for par. Roger one-putts for birdie. As they say, drive for show, putt for dough. The rest of the round proceeds rather uneventfully.

Before we head up to Carnoustie, we wander over to the 1st tee at the Old Course, to watch a few groups tee off, and lo and behold, we run into the same guy we shared a table with the night before at the Dunvegan Hotel's Lounge Bar. Weird.

We drive up to Carnoustie and watch the gathering clouds. Looks rather ominous. So much for our glorious day. It's as if the Carnoustie Gods are conspiring against us. "You are NOT allowed to play MY course in benign conditions!" We are told that since the British Open is going to be played at Carnoustie in 3 weeks, we have to use rubber mats in the fairway. We check in, and they give us these little astroturf rectangles that we are required to carry along with us, and put down whenever we have a shot from the fairway. OK, whatever. Then, it starts to rain. Oh boy.

I get off to a good start, even in the rain: only 2 over par after four holes. But then the wheels start to come off. On the fifth hole, I end up taking an X on it (probably an 8 or 9 if I was counting). I lose my little green mat, forget it another time and have to go back for it, but manage to regroup and par #6, Hogan's Alley. I par #7 so now I'm 6 over after 7 in the rain with a quadruple bogey. Not too bad. Then it starts to rain so hard that I can't even grip my club anymore. It slips out of my hand twice on the 8th tee. Roger birdies #8 and shoots 39 on the front nine. He's playing in this monsoon like the priest from Caddyshack. I can't hold onto my clubs anymore and walk off the course after the 10th hole.

I am completely and utterly soaked to the bone. I walk in from the eleventh tee and change clothes in the car. I decide to drown my sorrows with a beer and wait for Roger. He finally gives up after #13. It's raining sideways. We drive back to St. Andrews, looking and smelling like two drowned rats.

My finger (remember the pencil incident from this morning?) is really starting to throb, so I buy some ointment for it and head back to my room. All of my clubs, grips and clothes are soaking wet. I dry them off as best I can, crank up the heat, and go to bed. The day went from totally glorious sunshine to typhoon-like conditions in about 8 hours.

Trip of a Lifetime (Part One, Chapter Two)

II. A Sign From Above

We arrive at Carnoustie, giddy from lack of sleep but also very excited to actually tee it up for the first time in Scotland. Our first tee time is at 3:45 on the Burnside Course at Carnoustie. We are playing the Championship Course at Carnoustie the next day, but for now we are content with the Burnside, given that we haven't slept, shaved, brushed our teeth, or changed our clothes in 24 hours!

We check in with the starter and go to get our clubs out of the car. Suddenly, the sun comes out, and we hear live bagpipes playing. Apparently it's a little 3pm tradition at Carnoustie. We take it as a good omen, and thoroughly enjoy the Burnside. It's always such a great feeling right after you hit your first tee shot and you are walking down that first fairway, away from the clubhouse. A feeling of freedom, a dream that finally comes true after 40+ years: getting to play golf in Scotland.

After our round, we drive south and check into our rooms at New Hall on the campus of the University of St. Andrews. We clean up and head to the Lounge Bar at the Dunvegan Hotel for dinner. We are lucky enough to find what looks like the last open table in the place. We are sitting at our table that happens to seat 4 when I see a couple enter the Bar and look around for a place to sit. There's nothing open, and they appear to be ready to leave, when I walk up to them and ask them if they want to sit with us. They say sure, thanks a lot. We start talking to them and discover that they are also American. The man asks Roger where we are from, and Roger says Cincinnati. The man says that's funny, I used to live in Cincinnati. Then the man asks Roger where he works, and Roger says Procter & Gamble. The man says that's funny, I also used to work at P&G! The man used to work on Citrus Hill orange juice at Winton Hill, which is the same P&G location where Roger and I used to work. What a small world.

Trip of a Lifetime (Part One)

I. An Inauspicious Start

I'm standing in the Coach Line at CVG, and the Delta employee tells me if I really want to check my garment bag along with my golf clubs and suitcase, it's going to cost me an extra 100 bucks. So I decide I have time to take it back to my car and come back. But of course I have to re-pack everything. I sprain my thumb in the process. Not a good start. Then Roger and I see Tom Cope and Charlie Scroggin in the terminal. What are the chances of that? Charlie wanted to know why we didn't invite him. Awkward.

We finally got to Scotland, after a bit of panic in Atlanta. They changed the gate on us, and we almost missed our connecting flight! Then we get to Edinburgh, but no luggage! Oh crap! Again, after a bit of panic, everything shows up. Whew!

So now we have our luggage and clubs, and it's time to board the shuttle to the rental car lot. Only one problem: it's a Friday morning rush hour at the Edinburgh Airport, so the shuttle is completely packed. And here we come with oversized luggage and golf clubs. We get a lot of dirty looks, and a couple of people can even be heard grumbling about us. Wow, rough start.

Now it's time to rent the car. Roger panics and suggests that we upgrade to a car with an automatic transmission so we don't have to worry about shifting. I ask, but they look at me like I have 3 heads, and indicate that they don't have any currently available. I say OK, just give us the stick shift, we'll manage.

We get the car, and immediately cannot figure out how to get it in reverse. We literally have to put it in neutral and PUSH it out of the parking spot so we don't have to use reverse. Later on we notice that there is a little switch nestled under the shifting knob that you have to pull up on when you put it in reverse.

I stall the car three times before we get to the highway, get honked at, and even flipped off by a taxi driver (Welcome to Scotland, Laddie!). Now we are driving on the WRONG (opposite) side of the road, with little to no sleep for almost 24 hours. Whoo-Hoo!!

We're heading north to Carnoustie for our first tee time. It feels so good to get out on the open road, away from the airport madness. We stop at a little roadside restaurant/gas station to freshen up and call home. I can't figure out how to use the pay phone, end up swiping my credit card and getting an operator, and she connects me so I can at least let my family know I've arrived safely. I find out a month later that this 4 minute phone call cost me 20 bucks.

Roger decides that he wants to try some fish and chips, since he is in the UK. The fish is huge and smelly, and it comes with mashed peas that look like they are radioactive, they are so bright green. Roger paid approximately 20 bucks for this masterpiece, and promptly pitches the entire dish into the trash can after about two bites. We slink over to the Burger King counter and order double cheeseburgers instead.

Gullane Golf Club, No. 1 Course, Gullane, Scotland

A wonderfully great golf course to play. Highlights of the round: Second hole plays straight uphill to a narrow green. Third hole goes down the other side so the tee shot rolls a mile. Sixth hole plays uphill and the view starts to unfold. Then on the 7th tee, you feel like you are on top of the world. One of the best views anywhere in golf. You can literally see for miles in all directions. You feel like your tee shot will travel 400 yards. 12th Hole is also fun, a par-5 that is reachable in two. Then the 17th hole is also straight downhill, another fun driving hole. Loads of fun from start to finish.

HCEG Muirfield, Gullane, Scotland

What can I say? Muirfield is an awesome golf course. Every hole is memorable, partially because the holes seldom play in the same direction. The course was in great shape, and let me just say that the lunch in the clubhouse after the round was probably the best lunch I've ever had. The first hole played directly into the wind, and at 446 yards, par was out of the question. In fact, par was out of the question for most of the day, except for the par-threes, where for some reason I managed to par 3 out of 4 of the par-threes. I scrounged one birdie out of Muirfield, the par-five 17th (the wind was conveniently at my back). We had a lovely day at Muirfield, and did I mention how good the luncheon was? I was lucky to break 100, but it didn't matter; the golf course held my attention throughout.

The Aiken Golf Club, Aiken, South Carolina

The Aiken Golf Club was originally built in 1912. It was the first golf course in America to feature tees especially for women. Playing it is loads of fun. One of the greens is a double-green, sharing the 1st and the 17th hole. Many of your shots are played through a cathedral of pines, and the pine needle rough is divine. There are many large sand waste areas that you will be required to shoot over. It is all very picturesque, and reminds me of a Donald Ross or Alister MacKenzie design.

Gullane Golf Club, No. 2 Course, Gullane, Scotland

I recently had the great pleasure to play the Gullane No. 2 Golf Course. The course was in great shape, and it was just a great day to be playing golf in Scotland. The sun was shining and the birds were chirping. We teed off and made it across the road, and up and over Gullane Hill we went. We noticed an older foursome gaining ground on us from behind. This was a bit amazing as we were only two, and they were four, and they were "senior citizens." They made it to the par-three 5th tee just as we were putting out on the green. We decided to wait for them on the 6th tee and let them play through, as we certainly didn't want to hold them up. They looked like locals, and we were from another country. We thought, "better play this safe and let the locals pass." One of the elderly gentlemen strided up to us on the 6th tee and said "which one of you is Mr. Whayne?" My friend immediately pointed to me and said "That would be him." Great, throw me under the bus. We thought we were in trouble or something. Then the gentleman said "I'm Archie Baird, we talked on the phone a few days ago, I jotted down your tee time when you mentioned it, and thought I'd introduce myself." Mr. Baird is a famous golf historian, and his Heritage of Golf Museum next to the Gullane Clubhouse is not to be missed. We went on to have a very nice conversation, and we offered to let his group play through, but they graciously declined. Interestingly enough, minutes after I shook Mr. Baird's hand, I birdied the very next hole I played, the par-five 6th hole. It was my first birdie ever in Scotland. After the round, we were invited into the club to have a drink with Mr. Baird and his group. A good time was had by all.

Otter Creek Golf Club, Columbus, Indiana

Although I don't remember a lot of specifics from my two rounds at Otter Creek, I do remember that the course was in great shape, and was a challenging layout, with an incredible number of bunkers!! I believe I remember hearing that there are around 100 bunkers (maybe more) on the golf course. Highlight of the day for me was my near-ace on the par-three 8th hole. Approximately six inches away. Unfortunately for me I didn't even win the hole, as my opponent chipped in for birdie!

West Links at North Berwick, Scotland

The West Links at North Berwick are a perfect mix of fun and challenge on a golf course. It's a top-notch golfing experience, and after the round you don't feel like the course sapped all your strength.

Favorite holes on the course for me are #2 (Firth of Forth and beach directly on the right), #11 (par-5 reachable in two), #13 (par-4 called "Pit" where you have to hit your approach shot over a short wall to the green), #14 (par-4 called "Perfection" where your approach shot is blind, other than a tall pole that you take aim at), and #15 (the original "Redan" par-3 hole).

All the holes are great fun, and the course is kept in great shape, plus the clubhouse is very old-school-cool. I definitely plan to play this course again when I visit in July!!

Crooked Tree Golf Course, Mason, Ohio

Crooked Tree Golf Course is a great course to hone your shotmaking skills on. You can't always just "grip it and rip it" on this golf course. Trees come into play on almost every hole of this course. Every hole has some unique character to it. All in all, a very memorable golf course.

The first hole is a tough par 4 of 430 yards. Both the tee and the green sit about 40 feet above the fairway. Left is dead, while right will eliminate any chance of reaching the green in regulation. Plus the approach shot requires a long carry over a large waste area.

After a short par-3, the third hole is a really fun par-5. If you hit your tee shot just right, you can reach the green in two if you want to risk the carry over a creek directly in front of the green. Then, after a short par-4, you come to #5, a challenging par-3 of 160 yards. It requires a carry over water, with trees on the left. Anything short or right is wet. Only a perfect shot will do.

After another par 5 with water on the right, you come to #7, another challenging par 3 of 171 yards. Anything right is wet, while anything left will trundle down into a gulley where par will be tough to get. The 8th hole is a dogleg right par 4 of 362 yards where you can blast directly over the fairway bunker. The green is rather large and can be tricky to putt on.

On the back nine, #10 is a zig-zag par 5 of 510 yards (not my favorite hole; seems kind of gimmicky), while #11 is an uphill par 3 of 171 yards where you can't see the green, so you feel like you are at the State Fair and trying to toss a quarter and keep it on the china plate! #12 is a tough, dogleg left par 4 of 427 yards.

The 14th hole is 412 yards, but most folks will have to lay up off the tee, as a creek awaits you at around 210-220 yards. Then of course, if you do elect to lay up, you still have a long iron approach shot to the green. The 15th is a fun, all-downhill par 3 of 150 yards, but it probably plays 25 yards shorter than that. #17 is only 357 yards, but requires a very accurate approach shot over a creek. And #18 is a great par-5 finishing hole of 513 yards that requires you to cross that same creek twice!

All in all, a very fun golf course that will encourage you to use most of the clubs in your bag.

The Old Course, St. Andrews, Scotland

The Old Course starts innocently enough; a 355 yard par 4, with a fairway wide enough to land a small plane on. There's only one catch: you're on the 1st tee of the most famous golf course in the world, and the starter actually announces your name on the loudspeaker before you tee off. And then there are the inevitable numbers of people watching you tee off, golfers waiting their turn for their tee time to arrive, along with the general bystanders and tourists just curious to get a look at the old lady.

Needless to say, I cold-yanked my 3-wood into the 18th fairway, dumped my second shot into Swilken Burn, and exited the 1st hole with a nice, tidy double bogey. Luckily it was my last double bogey until the 15th hole.

Many folks who have only played the Old Course once or twice will tell you that it's kind of hard to remember the differences between Holes 2 through 6, as they all run in the same direction. I tend to agree with that assessment. All of the holes in this stretch are par 4s with the exception of #5, which is a par 5. They are all good holes, they are just hard to remember.

That all changes with the 7th hole. After your drive, you are faced with an approach shot to a double green sitting up on a hill. Miss this green and you may find yourself in one of the gaping bunkers surrounding it. This green is also the location of the next very memorable hole, #11. It is a par 3 of 164 yards, and once again you are faced with a challenging shot to a green perched up on a hill, and this time you have to go directly over the Strath Bunker. This bunker is so deep that you may very well have to hit out of it backwards just to get out!

Another famous hole is the 14th hole, a par 5 that contains the Beardies fairway bunkers, the Elysian Fields, as well as Hell Bunker and Grave Bunker. The 16th hole finishes right by the Old Course Hotel, and then of course the 17th hole, the famous "Road" Hole, requires you to hit your drive while the hotel sits a little too close for comfort on your right. And whatever you do, don't get into the Road Hole bunker sitting directly in front of the green!

The 18th hole provides a satisfying finish as you literally hit your way back into town. Don't go right as you could end up in the street. Again, you will probably find yourself being watched by curious onlookers, perhaps people playing the Old Course the next day, as you try to hole that 4-footer for par!

TPC Stadium Course, Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida

Home of the THE PLAYERS Championship, the TPC Stadium Course (as quoted on the scorecard) was "destined to be a special course. The culmination of a long-held dream to establish a home club for the members of the PGA Tour and a permanent site for THE PLAYERS Championship, the Tournament Players Club at Sawgrass became a reality in 1980."

The initial hole is rather ordinary, a shortish par-4, but the second hole is a challenging par-5 with water on the right. After a rather short and ordinary par-3 on the third, the fourth is an interesting par-4 where the green is greatly protected by water. The 8th hole is a challenging par-3 of 201 yards from the blue tees, and the 9th is an incredible par-5 where your second shot has to cross over water, and the green is small and rather hard to hit.

On the back nine, memorable holes include #11, another par-5 with lots of sand on the left and water on the right; #12, a nearly drivable par-4 that presents a decent birdie opportunity, and #13, a par-3 right by the Sawgrass Marriott Golf Resort & Spa. After a couple of tough par-4s, you enter the home stretch with three of the best finishing holes in golf: 16 is a par-5 with water on the right for your approach shot (my favorite hole on the course), 17 is of course the world-famous par-3 island green, and 18 is a very tough par-4 with water on the left from tee to green.

The course was in absolutely great shape the day I played it. Lots of sand and water on the entire course. If you get a chance, the TPC Valley Course right next door is also kept in great shape, and is well worth playing if you are in town for more than a day.

The Eden Course, St. Andrews, Scotland

We played the Eden Course at St. Andrews on a glorious Saturday morning in July. We had one of the very first tee times, and we pretty much had the course to ourselves. My golf was a little bit suspect, as evidenced by the wayward drive on #2 that ended up on the Old Course! But the day was just too nice to care. My first chance for birdie came on #4, a 251-yard par 4 that I drove, but then proceeded to 3-putt for par! This hole runs right next to the Eden Estuary, and is a lovely view. The next hole is also a real charmer, a short par-3 nestled amongst the sandhills; very picturesque!

All in all just a lovely course at a very reasonable price. If you come to St. Andrews to play the Old Course, and you also just want to have some fun on a very nice course, the Eden Course is for you!

Pine Grove Country Club, Iron Mountain, Michigan

Established in 1902, Pine Grove Country Club is a great course for all skill levels. There are some great birdie opportunities, as well as some very difficult holes. The terrain is fairly sloped, so there are some holes where it is very tough to get it close to the pin. My favorite hole on the course is #3, a dogleg right where you have to drive over the entrance road to the club, and then you are faced with a long approach shot to a green that is surrounded by (what else?) tall, stately pine trees. The fourth hole has a very slanted fairway that is tough to stay on, and the sixth hole is a big-dogleg-right, downhill par five.

Overall a very enjoyable golf course. It is semi-private, but a courteous phone call can usually get you on!

Burnside Golf Course, Carnoustie, Scotland

The first shot I ever struck in Scotland came at this course. We had just flown over from the United States, landed in Edinburgh, and drove straight up to Carnoustie. When we arrived at the course, a pipes and drums group was playing outside of the hotel. What a welcome to Scotland!! We walked down to the Burnside Course, checked in, and the starter even let us tee off a bit earlier than our appointed time. It was a glorious day, sunny and breezy. The course was in great shape. They were playing the Open on the Championship Course in about 3 weeks, so I suspect that the general care and feeding of the Championship Course probably carried over to the Burnside Course, seeing that the holes basically run over the same piece of land.

A good time was had by all. If you are ever in the area and want to play a perfectly lovely course at a very reasonable price, do not hesitate to tee it up on the Burnside Course.

Pasatiempo Golf Course, Santa Cruz, California

An absolute gem by Alister MacKenzie, lightning-fast greens the day I played there, interesting barrancas that you have to hit over on several approach shots. Much of the day you feel like you're playing on a tilted billiard table! I love the 18th hole, a little par-3. Number 1 (all downhill but with trees overhanging the fairway) and Number 9 (all uphill with a wicked-fast green) are also very memorable. Highly recommended if you ever get out that way.